Welcome to the Double Minded Man

If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.
But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed.
For let not that man think that he shall receive any thing of the Lord.
A double minded man is unstable in all his ways.
James 1:5 and 6. King James Version

 

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I don't have a double mind on this issue.
 

I’m not prejudice, but…. 

I’m not a racist, but…

Or I’m not prejudice, but…

Whenever I hear a statement that begins with one of the above statements, I know I’m about to hear a racial slur. Being a white man, it is not uncommon for white people to make negative racial statements in my presents. As I am sure is the case with other races feeling comfortable among there own race. As much as I would like to say I have never been apart of this, I cannot. But I have grown and I have learned not to be a follower, I have never felt hatred to any person because of there race, but have laughed at racial jokes and have not stood up when I knew someone was treating a black person wrong. This is mainly about black people because I have seen blacks mistreated the most.

Back when I was a young man, I was hanging around the bar, the bartender would normally buy his lunch from the deli just down the street. The deli owner hired a black man to help make sandwiches during the busy lunch hours. One of the other people at the bar said to the bartender, I’m going to get some lunch would you like me to pick up something for you? The bartender said, “I’m not prejudice, but I can’t eat a sandwich made by a black man” I did not speak up and say: yes you are prejudice.

“I’m not prejudice, I think everyone should own one”

“I’m not prejudice, some of them are good people”

I can go on and on with statements that I have heard people say in reference to black people.

It has been many years now since I have allowed people to tell me racial jokes or not correct racial statements, I do pick my battles carefully, If a person has true hatred in his or her heart towards black people, I’m not going to put myself in a bad position by speaking my mind. But if a person is just speaking out of ignorance, I will speak my mind.

Back when I was married and my son was still a baby, my wife and I went to rent a house; the landlady said that her father owned the house just next store to the house we wanted to rent. Then she goes on to say “a very nice black couple looked at this house and really wanted to rent it, I’m not prejudice, but, I just could not do that to my father”

Once again I did not correct this injustice, I did not say, I would never rent from a closed minded racist like you. We moved in the next week.

In my life I worked for companies that had many black employees, I always got along well with everyone. I also worked for companies that did not have any black employees. One company I worked for was looking for a new maintenance man to do maintenance in an apartment complex. A black man came in to fill out an application. The girl who was like a receptionist for the company smiled at this man, asked if he would like some coffee or something to drink, she was very polite and respectful to the man, I was sitting right there, I spoke to the man about his experience with maintenance, he sounded knowledgeable. The man finishes filling out the application, hands it to the girl, she says thank you stands up shakes his hand, says, “my boss will have a look at it and we will call you. The man leaves, she troughs his application in the garbage can, looks at me and smiles and says the boss does not even want to see an application from a black man.

This same man (the landlord) had no problem receiving rent money from black tenants.  

I already hated this landlord because he was a miserable scumbag in the first place but now I knew what a real piece of shit he was, and the girl was also a real piece of shit herself. But I didn’t do anything about it either, I just complained about how unjust I thought it was.

I received an email from someone that just loves to forward stupid emails to everyone, so I don’t even know who originally sent the email. It was a white pride letter, saying we need to be proud that we are white just as the blacks are proud to be black, and he went on to complain about how black people have more rights then us, how it is ok for there to be a black entertainment network (BET) but if we had a White entertainment network (WET) we would be called racists. He made many other references. Then went on to imply that all muggers, thieves, rapists, and murderers were black. I guess all of us white folks are honest hard working people who are just victims of the evil black man.

I’m 54 years old, I grew up in Spanish Harlem, and the Bronx, in all of my years I have never been robbed, shot, stabbed, rapped, murdered, or even cheated by a black person, and I have had many dealings with black people. On the other hand, I have been robbed and cheated by white people more times then I can remember, I have also had many good relations with white people. The point is not that white people are more likely to rob you then black people are, it is that there is good and bad in all races.

People say black people should not be angry with us because of what our ancestors have done, I agree with this, but I believe they have a right to be angry with us for what we are doing or are not doing now.

How many times have you turned a blind eye to discrimination?

Every time you did, you caused harm to black people.

I wonder where the nice black couple ended up living after they were rejected just because they were black. When I moved in to that house I caused harm to that family.

I wonder if the black man found another job to support his family and how many other applications found there way directly in to a garbage can.

What that girl did was against the law, I could have reported it to the proper authorities, by doing nothing I caused harm to that man and his family and any other black person that may have applied for a job with that company.

I have never directly caused any black person any harm, I have never called a black person the N word, and I have never treated a black person like they were beneath me. I have never crossed the street because I saw a group of black people standing in front of an apartment building. I have always been respectful to all people. But I’m still part of the problem, because I looked the other way.

I cannot change the past I can only change the present, I will do my best, what will you do?

I now live in an area where it is about 50/50 black and white, people are very polite and friendly here.

One small update, a neighbors' white 7 year old grandson was hanging around my house watching TV with me when I turned the station to the dog whisperer, this 7 year old boy says to me "turn that off I don't want to watch that stupid Mexican" I was surprised by this statement and asked him why he felt that way, he said all Mexicans are dirty bad people I spent a good amount of time explaining why his thinking was wrong, but I'm not sure if I got through to him, I know he was just repeating what he heard at home, but he sounded like he had made up his mine about Mexican people. this only happened a few months ago, we have a very long way to go.

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